Hehehe, this movie, intentionally or otherwise, has made a fool of so many reviewers and people like me who like to think our opinions matter. Bless you movie.

Ralph Fiennes is a chef who’s fallen out of love with cooking, putting his heart and soul into cooking and to see it be consumed by people who either use it as a distraction, for social media likes, for a profile boost etc etc has more or less hollowed out his sense of humanity.

This core theme is achieved in triplicate by the movie and it’s a near perfect execution but it somehow sums up all my hatred about modern and the so called ‘elevated’ horror.

Oh elevated horror…how do I hate you. Let me count the ways.

There’s Nightmare on Elm Street 4 levels of cheesy fast food horror excellence and there’s painstaking multi-layered subtext horror such as Videodrome.

One deals in horror as a comedy format, gallows humour and eyerolling one liners and you know the bad guys getting a nice beat down but at the end he’ll somehow be back for a sequel like a demented and less stylish James Bond and the other deals with the same tropes such as blood and death but also may have allusions to real world metaphorical horrors.

‘Elevated’ horror thinks it’s the latter when it usually has less substance and the former exists merely to be consumed by people who either use it as a distraction, for social media likes, for a profile boost etc etc.

See what I did there?

I hate the phrase ‘consume’ media but if we must use it then this movie is exactly how I feel about the movie business and if this was the intention of the director I almost wouldn’t mind being sat on my broken internet connecti0n eating a copy of Nightmare on Elm Street 4 and wiping my mouth on a poster of Hereditary.